Not Appropriate for ANY Man to read, especially ones who are related to me

So, on November 17, 2011, my vagina (my cookie, my special place, my love pocket - whatever you want to call it) earned herself a cape! A rock star she has always been, but this day was special. After months of bladder boarding, giant veins turning purple and painful all over my legs and even my pretty pink palace, sciatic pain of an excruciating caliber and the emotional ability to deal with any of it on par with that of a 12 year old about to get her period (remember what a bitch you were - apologize to your mother as it is always better late than never), I FINALLY gave birth to El Gigante.  Jake was mother fucking HUGE! He was 9 lbs, 4 oz and 21 3/4" long, and out of my vagina he shot in less than three minutes, two contractions and not a single stitch needed.  BAM!  Suuuhhhuper Vag! Now, I am sure many of you have amazing birth stories - we can all have capes...I just feel I have finally found the right verbiage to express exactly how one may feel after all of that, so don't be competitive.  Chances are, if you've given birth, you probably earned a cape!  :)